HOW TO GET PICKED-UP

I've been practising my cheeky, infectious smile (actually, i think it looks kinda lecherous. Eeeyeargh. Either that, or it looks like an arrogant smirk. Bastard.) but guys, I tell you, it works! It works best when you're already in a room, or carraige or on the bus, and when a girl or a girly-gang enters, she's/they're definitely going to look around and check out the place for hotties. This is when you work the magic.

First, when she looks around, you make EYE-CONTACT with her. And SMILE. Like you recognise her even if you don't. Like you just woke up next to her. In bed. SMILE. Like you've been waiting for her all your life. Like you know something funny about her that she doesn't. SMILE.

First instinct she has is to smile back. Then she'll think, "Why the hell is he smiling at me? Is there something wrong?" Then she'll get confused, and go "Oh no, am I supposed to recognise this guy?" And her smile will become one of confusion. Alright. Then she'll begin to talk to her friends and give you nervous glances. You don't have to smile now, you can ignore her, or you could continue to smile if you have very strong cheek muscles.

Then, if she has the GUTS, she'll come over to you, and ask you, "Do I know you from somewhere?" If so, gentlemen, you've just been picked up. Congratulations.

Or she might go, "Excuse me, why are you smiling at me?" - You've been picked up. Or just ignore her until she pesters you, then 'give in' and talk to her. Any way, you hold the initiative.

If she's shy, which about 70% of Singaporean women are, she'll go, "Erm, wierdo?" But she'll still be curious. Right, now this is where you have to make it easier for her. Nonchalantly move closer towards her, pretending to be preoccupied with something else. She'll probably look at you again, and ask you if she knows you from somewhere. Once more, you've been picked up, but she's holding her ground and it's more neutral.

If she DOESN'T ask you at all, well, her loss. Or if you cannot NOT afford not to ever see her again, make eye-contact again, smile, then initiate. Of course, once you do this then you lose the initiative.

Loser (loo-zer) n.

1. One that fails to win
2. One who takes loss in a specified way.
3. One that is poor in quality

And my favourite, 4. This is the one which we will use for today.

4. One that fails consistently; especially a person with bad luck or poor skills.

This is what it must feel like, returning to an old lover. Okay, maybe an ex-girlfriend. well, maybe we dated a bit. but lover sounds so much cooler. but now i'm returning, and there's no hint of my presence before. it's like she doesn't remember me at all. it's like i never existed before now.

so here i am today, saying - no, screaming - i exist!

i don't know why i started again.

i need some order, i guess. and blogging faithfully is a good discipline as any. so i shall blog at least five minutes a day, and as regularly as i can. i guess if i can do this, maybe my quiet time will improve too.

so be warned! i'm back. at least for the next five minutes.

you see, i started to write a novel this year. i told myself, i shall write a novel. i shall get it published, and leave a mark on a blank surface, no matter how temporary it is. so i hope this journal will help me along that process, and i'll get the novel done.