Here's a funny incident.
Definitely supernatural.
It was like any other lazy saturday.
The engine was roaring and sweat was dripping from my eyebrows and getting into my eyes. I blinked the saltiness away and shook my head, trying not to dislodged my perfectly tied scarf. I felt self-concious about the holes in my gloves, and prayed no one would notice. The camoflage on my face was slowly dripping away - when do we start? I felt like a melting green popsicle - albeit a very slimy and salty one. My coveralls were too thick to show that i was sweating. The sweat pooled within my boots and i twitched uncomfortably, trying to look as professional as possible. I didn't even smile when I swivelled my turret around to spoil the photographs of those who had posed next to my Ultra.
After all, there were hundreds staring at me and the parade hadn't even begun.
The ground guide ran out, his arms waving us forward! It had begun! My 13 ton vehicle lurched to life as we commenced the invasion of the padang. As the column rolled down, the verbal cue rang out.
"Gun salute... UP! one thousand..."
Shit. The turret wasn't responding! Why wasn't it moving?
"...two thousand..."
I kicked the tachyomotor, and pressed the manual handle in. Maybe one of the micro-switches...?
"...three thousand..."
Damn it manual traverse already don't think so much go go go go
"...four thousand..."
Its not coming out it's not coming out there's no time there's no time
"...five thousand..."
just stand up straight don't bend down don't look like a retard don't look like an idiot
"...six thousand...HAND SALUTE... UP!"
So in the WHOLE COLUMN, only my vehicle didn't gun salute. I'm sure the president would have been pleased. Paiseh eh.
After we left the padang, i slumped back in my turret, no longer sweating. I was cold with rage. I banged and thumped the turret repeatedly, roaring in frustration - it had been working just minutes before the parade! what had happened?!
God!
Fifteen minutes later, after resetting it a dozen times and aimlessly twitching the control handle,
the turret gave a jerk and swivelled around in glee. I checked every circuit, every wire, every connection - no fault.
I called the mechanic, and after going over it for half an hour, he pronounced it fault free.
Then why, i asked, did it suddenly fail when I needed it most?
"Maybe it's shy. Or it doesn't like you. Anyway, make sure you sayang it a whole lot more."
Right.
So when I book in tonight, I'm bringing chocolates and flowers for my damned Ultra.
